On October 20, family and friends gathered at Joyale Restaurant to celebrate Toy Luke Kay’s 100th birthday. Kay has spent her entire life in service to others. From welcoming guests to her family restaurant to helping refugees make a new start in Washington, she’s made it her mission to educate generations on the importance of Chinese culture and heritage. While her accomplishments are too numerous to count, in Olympia she is still simply, “Auntie Toy.”
Kay was born in Butte, Montana, in 1924. She arrived in Olympia in 1941 after marrying Bill Kay through a match arranged by their families. For the next three decades she worked in his family’s restaurant, Kay’s Chop Suey, in downtown Olympia.
Table groups at her party reflected the many ways she has helped the Olympia community since she arrived there. Former Kay’s Café staff at one; an entourage from Zonta International, where she has been a member since 1961 sit nearby; friends from The Evergreen State College, where she earned her degree in 1978 at yet another.
Another table was full of her former students who arrived as refugees in the aftermath of the Vietnam War. She worked as an ESL teacher, helping hundreds of newly arrived refugees find their footing in America during her 10 year career. Many still keep in touch — even those who now live far away.
Kay is also the founder of the Olympia Area Chinese Association (OACA), formed in 1980 to bring together people of Chinese ancestry and celebrate and perpetuate their culture. Each year OACA hosts several events, the largest of which is Lunar New Year.
Kay is very proud of the Chinese Language School the Association operates. Its larger importance is bringing people together. “I want them to be bilingual and bicultural and take the best of both,” she said. “I think truly, since we live in a democracy, I’ve always felt that if we know each other’s culture, we will know each other better, and get along better, and be kind to each other.”
In 2017, Kay published her autobiography, An American Picture Bride, based on the journals she kept throughout her life.
In 2012 she lost her husband of 70 years. She said that she is able to keep going forward because she’s embraced forgiveness. Toy describes herself as a very spiritual person and writes her own affirmations. As a birthday gift from her to her guests, she shared these words:
“May you use the gifts you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.”
Attending the celebration were her children, Judi Foulkes and Jerry Locke, her grandchildren, great grandchildren, extended family, friends and colleagues totaling over 90 guests. Some traveled from as far away as California and Illinois to wish her well.
