In this memoir-in-essays, writer and former talent agent Priyanka Mattoo takes us on a fascinating voyage through time and space. She begins with a piece titled “Goddess of Destruction,” one of the best in this collection. In it, she reveals her love for her Kashmiri homeland and how political violence forced her family to migrate. “To my nine-year-old self,” she says of Kashmir, “it was the most extraordinary, joyful place in the world.”
The book’s unusual title, as explained in the beginning pages, is a Kashmiri phrase. It refers to items so exquisite and uncommon that their very existence might be questioned.
Her emotional attachment to Kashmir will remain strong throughout the book. “I can only guess,” she writes, “that this sense of place shoots out of everyone’s feet like invisible lightning bolts that link them to something deep.”
Subsequent essays reveal how she and her family, longing to settle down, roam the globe. They migrate first to India and later move on to destinations as diverse as Riyadh, London, Rome, New York, and Los Angeles. Mattoo’s resilient self forever remains dedicated to a quest for a homeland. Although she adjusts to school life, overcomes teenage anguish, settles on an academic study of her own choosing, she still finds it difficult to navigate the dating scene. Eventually she meets and marries a Jewish writer and gives birth to several children.
In an essay titled “Basherte,” she says, “I have created the most conventional of Kashmiri lives for myself, if you overlook my technically non-Kashmiri husband, with the warm double family I always wanted.”
Throughout, she pays special attention to staying in touch with her parents as well as developing warm new friendships. Humor, grace, and intelligence are always present in her accounts. Although uneven, this collection is not to be missed.
