I was born in Guiyang, China and moved to Seattle when I was seven years old. I am now 28. Over the years, I have flown back to China frequently, living a double life: one in China, the other in the United States. To Chinese people, I come across as somewhat American. Yet growing up abroad, I never felt I lost my Chinese identity, thanks to the Chinese friends I have stayed in touch with all these years. I can only speak from what I have noticed about cultural differences, having spent my life constantly traveling back and forth between Guiyang and Seattle.
I try to avoid sweeping generalizations, as they lead to the danger of a single story — stereotypes. Even so, certain social norms tend to be more prevalent in different parts of the world. In my view, China functions primarily as a collectivist society shaped by collective mindsets, while the United States leans heavily toward individualism. According to social psychologist Geert Hofstede’s cultural dimensions theory, the individualism index for China stands at 20, compared to 91 for the United States. These figures reflect that China is largely collectivist, whereas America is an individualistic society.
Once, when I decided to shave my head during a visit to China, an older friend warned me: if I had done that while attending school there, I would have been pulled out of class for questioning. Teachers would press me to explain why I made that choice and dig into my motives for going bald. In the United States, by contrast, students would likely just joke about it, and I would face little to no disciplinary trouble. This contrast exists because people in China consider how an individual’s image reflects on the wider group, and there is an expectation to conform to shared standards.
On another occasion, I was chatting with a friend and kept talking about myself. Later, I asked for his perspective on differences between China and the U.S. He pointed out that I had spoken about myself nonstop the whole time while he remained quiet. When first meeting someone, Chinese people tend not to talk excessively about themselves; they are more reserved than Americans. They tend to consider group dynamics and the feelings of those around them, rather than focusing solely on their own experiences to showcase individuality.
My paternal grandparents were both members of the Communist Party of China (CPC). The CPC counts over 101 million members, making up roughly 7% of China’s population — around one out of every fifteen Chinese citizens. I have two friends who are Party members. A friend of mine, Daniel, believes the core goal of the Party’s ideology is to improve people’s livelihoods. At the same time, he acknowledges that corrupt officials do exist, yet stresses that such individuals do not represent the ideology as a whole.
In China, many children are sent to boarding schools from a young age. Chinese parents also strive to enroll their children in top-tier schools and often take pride in this achievement. To some extent, this is another manifestation of collectivist thinking. I work as an English teacher, and my brother explained to me that China’s education system evaluates English ability along two separate lines: oral proficiency and exam performance. He shared an example of an American teacher who gained popularity in China for teaching spoken English.
However, since his lessons brought limited improvement to students’ test scores, he was regarded as an ineffective teacher. Conversely, many learners achieve high exam marks yet cannot hold a basic conversation in English. There is a widespread expectation among parents that their children must achieve strong test results, and many examinations lack open-ended questions. In the United States, educators welcome students offering divergent opinions. American children are taught from an early age to see themselves as distinct individuals who bear responsibility for their own circumstances and destinies. This may illustrate one key divide between China’s collectivism and American individualism.
Beyond that, dining customs differ greatly. In China, people eat communally. Banquet tables usually feature a rotating Lazy Susan in the center, so everyone shares dishes from common platters. Americans generally prefer to have their food served on separate, individual plates. Harmony is a core value in Chinese culture, and shared meals serve as a way to cultivate that harmony.
In the United States, young adults are expected to move out of their parents’ homes once they reach a certain age — often eighteen or twenty-one. In China, many adults continue living with their parents. I live with schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and my mother cared for me when my condition worsened. It seems to me that families in Chinese culture are far more inclined to support sick relatives. In the U.S., many people living with mental illness end up managing alone. Reliance on family is deeply embedded within traditional Chinese values. In America, I frequently encounter homeless individuals struggling with addiction or mental health challenges, stranded in cities far away from their families.
Ultimately, I believe no culture can be labeled as “right” or “wrong”. We all hail from different corners of the world, yet we journey toward the same shared human experience. Our differences render us unique and beautiful — and this is what it truly means to embrace cultural diversity.
