As the year comes to a close and folks are gearing up for the holidays, I take a moment to reminisce about home. I think back of my childhood and remember how much I used to love this time of year. Family gatherings at my grandma’s house were always my favorite. My aunties would cook their best dishes while my cousins and I would play dodgeball with the pinecones in the backyard. Thinking back, that probably wasn’t the safest game, but man did we have fun. Plus, the spicy papaya salad and sticky rice afterwards always helped ease the pain!
Since my incarceration began nearly 16 years ago, the holidays have been a tad bit different, to say the least. As one can imagine, many of us just try to survive this season rather than celebrate. I mean there’s not much to be festive about in here, ya know? Honestly, it’s just another stretch where the mail doesn’t come. But I promise, y’all… this is a happy story!
Because, you see, the other day while I was using the microwave in my unit’s dayroom, I noticed something taped to the window. As I waited for my noodles to cook and scanned the sheet of paper, I was surprised to learn that it was a makeshift sign-up sheet for a Secret Santa.
For those of y’all who’ve played Secret Santa before, you already know wassup! But for those unfamiliar, it’s pretty much a game where a group of people are randomly assigned another person in the group to get a Christmas gift for. Most times, people randomly draw names and that’ll be the person assigned to you. While there’s slightly different versions of the game, that’s pretty much the gist of it. But all versions have one thing in common: the gift giver remains anonymous until the very end. Well, that’s if they ever reveal themselves.
In all my years incarcerated, I’ve never heard of anything like this being done in prison, so naturally, I was skeptical. But as I continued to scan the sign-up sheet and saw that a few of my homeboys had already signed up, I decided to take their lead and signed up, too. They’ve been here on this tier longer than me, so I trusted they knew what they were doing.
A few days later, curiosity got the best of me, and I couldn’t help but wonder who had organized this game since I knew for sure the prison hadn’t. When I found out who it was, I wasn’t one bit surprised! My friend, Ron Guier—who has served six years of his 13-year sentence right here at the Washington Corrections Center—was the culprit!
Yo, let me tell y’all who my good friend Ron is! First, he’s hella gay and doesn’t give a damn who knows it. And second, he’s a natural nurturer that always looks out for others. These two things aren’t necessarily the safest things to be in prison where homophobia and exploitation run hand-in-hand, but Ron is definitely a special person who exhibits strength in his authenticity—something he displays proudly everyday.
When asked what his motive was behind organizing Secret Santa, his answer was simple: “I recognize that Christmas is a hard time for folks… and I was in the same category. And while we’re not able to be around the people we choose, it doesn’t mean we’re not around good people.”
This is the second year that Ron is organizing a Secret Santa, which already has nearly 30 people signed up. This is an increase from the approximately 15 to 20 people who participated last year.
As he continues to explain to me that the gifts “aren’t about money” and are more about getting to know those in your community and brightening up their day with whatever you have, he rushes to his cell to show me what his Secret Santa got him last year. He returns with a beautiful handmade beaded rainbow necklace that looked like somebody spent a significant amount of time making. While the necklace was amazing, the gift bag was the highlight that gave us both a good chuckle. It was a regular paper bag that had pictures of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and other Calvin Klein models taped to it. And while that type of comedy might not be for everybody, it was perfect for Ron and showed just how thoughtful his secret Santa was. The fact that Ron still had the bag a year later was a testament to just how much the gift meant to him.
Another example he shared was when a Secret Santa gifted a mutual friend of ours a pack of extra tight muscle shirts that he absolutely loved because he’s super obsessed with his fitness. How that gift happened? Prison magic, I guess!
As Ron further explained how it’s “powerful when people know joy and kindness are contagious… and by being in the moment we can find that joy,” I couldn’t help but agree. I guess he was right, it is contagious. Disgusting!
Although Secret Santa is harmless and a way of spreading Christmas joy, there are still some staff members who consider it breaking prison rules that do not allow “borrowing, lending, and trading.” However, most unit staff turn a blind eye to the game and see it for what it really is—people just surviving… together. But I guess it shows how even Ron’s ol’ cheery ass can’t stop suckers from being suckers, ya know? At the end of the day, we’re all super excited to play Secret Santa this year, and I can tell how much higher spirits are. For me, nothing can ever fill the void of missing my wife and family, but this simple game is definitely providing a little bit of joy that’s helping me get through it.
As the world is going to shit all, my friend Ron continues to show all of us that even the smallest acts of kindness can make a major impact in our community—a lesson I hope we can all utilize to be more compassionate to ourselves and our people. But if all else fails, I suppose some papaya salad and sticky rice will do…
Happy Holidays, y’all! And thank you for continuing to support “On the Fence Line.” Y’all know who you are…
Free Palestine!
Until next time, keep dreaming!
Felix Sitthivong is an incarcerated storyteller, community organizer, and founding member of the Peoples’ Empowerment Assembly for Collective Equity (PEACE). Sitthivong is also the former president and senior advisor for the Asian Pacific Islander Cultural Awareness Group (APICAG). He is currently serving a 66-year sentence at the Washington Corrections Center in Shelton, WA. Reach him with questions for “On the Fence Line” via Securus (WA #354579) or write to him at Felix Sitthivong #354579, PO BOX 900, Shelton, WA 98584.
